What I learned from my father, ‘Lean On Me’ Principal Joe Clark | Hazel Clark | TEDxCapeMay
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- Опубликовано: 6 мар 2024
- Hazel Clark tells the story of her famous father’s “tough love” and his lasting impact on a family of outstanding Olympians and answers, “Is tough love real love?” Hazel holds seven national titles, three Olympic team berths, and numerous appearances in the World and Olympic finals, solidifying her as one of the best middle-distance runners in history.
Hazel is the daughter of Joe Clark, the subject of the movie "Lean on Me." Dr. Joe Clark was featured on the TIME magazine cover and is still considered one of the most influential educators in history. Hazel's sister is four-time Olympian Joetta Clark-Diggs, and her sister-in-law is five-time Olympian Jearl Miles-Clark. All three were coached by her brother, world-renowned coach JJ Clark. The Clark sisters made history when they swept the 800 meters at the 2000 Olympic trials led by Hazel. A member of the Clark family has been on the last seven Olympic teams.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Great Talk - It's really hard to put his impact of tough love in a short speech. I'll never forget my interaction with him, he truly wanted anyone he came in contact with to reach their full potential.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾“Growth rarely occurs within our comfort zone, it’s when we’re pushed outside of what we’re capable of that we discover talents and abilities we never knew existed”….thanks for the motivational nuggets! Continued success to you !!
This talk was absolutely brilliant! It was very motivational and truly gave value to the tough love, parenting style that she experienced. I was left with so many inspiring quotes that I immediately started to think of ways to spread to others. You know something is really good when you immediately want to take away from it and pour into others. Amazing job!
I agree. This Ted Talk was brilliant. It inspires others that consistency is key, while working towards your goals. Growing up, having tough love like this pushes you to never give up. Hazel embraced discomfort and had true discipline. Tough love paid off for her and she excelled in her career. Job well done and thanks for sharing your story.
That's the kind of love that makes you ready for the kind of world it is
It's all about balance. The problem with tough love is that some people get hung up on the "tough" and forget about love.
@@Shadowjester1985 you both are right. In a "perfect" world, balance is necessary. In this reality we're actually living in, cold, calculating, unemotional is the right formula.
It takes a lot of courage to share from the heart in this way. What an authentic and genuine recollection of one’s relationship with a parent. As kids we don’t always realize how much our parents love and care about us. What a poignant and timely reflection.
Thank you for sharing these gems with us.
Amazing message! The world needs more JOE CLARK. I was fortunate enough to be a close friend of the entire Clark family and Joe Clark was a special man. Impactful, inspirational, and wanted the best out of not only his children but his students! Thank you Hazel for sharing this POWERFUL MESSAGE, it is so needed in today's world!
It was a lovely speech. I know TED talks are by nature short so she has to cram as much meaningfulness in a short time as possible. What is missing from this speech is emphasis on the you have to actually WANT someone to be their best. Most people's "tough love" is just an excuse to belittle and demean. To pass judgement on another for not taking a path the tough lover wants or thinks is worthy. Not everyone has to be a track stars or presidents or well known and talented artists just to name a few things. There is room for many lives and paths. I am glad she and others found value in her father's tough love. Maybe he truly did wish the best for everyone. This is not true of everyone who espouses tough love.
Absolutely! I think this talk is brilliant and profound as well as a refreshing concept to the TEDTalk platform!
Though love can be great, but her story makes me feel sad. So much pressure, very little comfort and acceptance. A continuous message of not being good enough.
I agree. Balance seems to be lacking and is probably necessary for psychological, emotional and social development.
Yes! I don't think tough love truly works without it's counterbalance of love, acceptance, support. And I am someone who wishes she had gotten both the love love and tough love.
I was so blessed to have both!
My dad definitely held me accountable and stressed the importance of maximizing your talents and opportunities through hard work but, I can assure you I felt so fortunate to have had a dedicated and loving dad. Sometimes loving someone means you will have the uncomfortable exchanges that help them grow. I think tough love gets a bad wrap but I understand why. People often disguise abuse as tough love. This was not my experience, but I know it happens. Thank you for listening and sharing your insight. This dialogue is really important.
She's amazing. You get up there and do it your way, feel free!
What an incredible presentation! Hazel’s relatable journey, coupled with her background in a famous family, adds a unique personal touch to her inspiring story. Her success, compassion, and generosity shine through, motivating us all to embrace our family dynamics and strive for greatness. Truly a champion in life!" So many amazing stories and messages and nuggets.
My opinion of tough love is exactly how she described it. It’s not abuse if it comes from a good place. Not wanting to see your love ones fail and providing them with the tools necessary is love. You don’t see enough especially now. You try to discipline a kid now. You get reported to 59 different agencies and run the risk of losing them. In fact we can use a lot more tough love. Amazing speech
Exactly, there is no room to hold people accountable in today’s society. Thanks for your comment!
I believe this message is timely for such a time as this for the world! Congrats Hazel for sharing !
Thank you, it came from the heart.
Amazing and Inspiring Story...
Thank you so much!!!
I love hearing your story
Thank you so much!
I like how this worked out. The person providing tough love also needs to maintain a balance and provides encouragement and feedback as appropriate, too.
Love this Hazel! The way my personality is set up, tough love wouldn't ordinarily be a philosophy to which I would be drawn. But this conversation really shed light on the power and positive impact of tough love as delivered from the heart with an eye trained on extracting the very best out of the subject and propelling them to their highest potential. You did well, Peachy. Joe Clark would be so proud of his baby girl. (Baby Hazel will be too!)
Take The Journey
It has nothing to do with emotion. Love comes in different forms. Love is the unselfish concern for another and a willingness to seek the best for others. Sometimes that requires tenderness and other times it’s being tough.
There’s no other way around the fact that there are times only tough love will suffice.
It’s character building when done the right way. Clearly Joe Clark wanted the best for his children and was seeing the big picture. And he was always speaking life to her. Deciphering the message from the delivery is an acquired skill and one that’s required for success in the real world.
Apparently, his kids got the message. They’re out here thriving!
This is so well said! I really appreciate your input.
Great topic. Most are afraid to express tough love for the fear of being unpopular or unliked by your child or children. Many of us were pushed past our comfort zones to realize our great potential. Some of the viewers are not listening to her message. If they take away their opinions about it being cruel they would hear the positive encouragement within her father’s tough love delivery. He never said she was, terrible, a failure, etc. His tough love was to say she was something special with potential and he was not allowing her to wallow in the thought of failure but to put the work in and to push herself. Everything is being ‘softened’ for this generation of kids. These kids are growing into adults who find it hard to adapt, cope, or accept rejection in this hard and sometimes cruel world. I also practice tough love with my kids and they are sweet, well behaved and able to adapt in life’s ever changing field. Good job Hazel!!!❤👏🏾 Sudell from Bermuda 🇧🇲 😊
Thank you so much Sudell! I really appreciate you watching! I also applaud you parenting with tough love, when done corrrctky it’s an amazing gift!
Yes yes yes yes yes
Well done Hazel! ❤
Grasia🎉🎉🎉
Thanks
As a father, I don't respect fathers like this. Mine was like that and I hated him for most of life. It didn't change when I became a dad; it changed when he learned how to love, as a man, from me saying he was wrong.
I am so sorry you had that experience.
@@hazelclark2901 Thanks, Hazel. I can see how it would be completely different for daughters.
So relatable 👏
Amazing thankyou ❤. Also, since Corina Pataki explained that Yahweh is not the father of christ, that enki is our father, it would be interesting to see how this relates to the dna mentioned at the end. Fascinating about the letters and dna codes, our names?
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if you give your kids "though love" you have to be ready to die alone
This is another example of why biological fathers are so important in the home, along with mom. There needs to be that balance for children and the data proves it.
Very true….there are Constant constant of examples of good fathers and successful children. It cannot be ignored
Yes! My dad talked about the importance of fathers in the home all the time!
No it’s control
When it is done incorrectly, I agree. There are many people who confuse control with tough love!
I want to talk on stage on the Ted - Talk.
I don’t think it’s supposed to be all tough though.
Definitely not! When it’s done correctly, there is a comfort and safety that can’t be described .
I do not like this talk. It does not explain or emphasize on the difference between tough love and being mean out of incompetence/frustration, while the distinction between the two is absolutely crucial. People will use this talk to justify bully behaviour that's just plain damaging.
You can't just blindly promote tough love and ignore how the term has been misused by people who didn't dare to love, but sold their abuse as if it was love-in-disguise when they get confronted.
I disagree. The world is a tough, brutal competitive place. If you never learn how to look deep within yourself to find the will to push through in spite of that adversity, then you will never be prepared for what life throws at you.
@@louisbryant990
The world can be a lot more than just a tough, brutal and competitive place. I hope you will experience it some day.
I’ve experienced both, but it’s the adversity & hardships that have prepared me for the rough times and made me resilient
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
@@louisbryant990
There is a danger when you only prepare for the bad days and not for the good days. The potential problem is that you can go ahead and sabotage your own good days, because you have no idea of how to be happy and therefore you will be afraid.
Clearly, u are someone who needs everything spelled out for u. Where are your basic comprehension skills? This must not have been for you!!. That's all. It was well presented, and it reached those who received tough love, no love at all, and great love. It even had pictures for people without imagination. Sorry u missed it. I enjoyed it vm.
I think it's messed up. Trophies and gold medals are an artifice to give people the illusion that they're actually pursuing something valuable. I'm all for working hard, learning, improving... but imposing on someone else all this pressure to be the best in something and achieve "success", is a misunderstanding of life. Who benefits from that? Maybe the one person training, if they really do want to dedicate this much of their lives to their craft... but again, what's the point... A crowd cheering you? Social revenge? Status? A lot of money? Hopefully something else.
Wow . I very rarely respond to stuff. But reading the negative comments only depicts your personal traumas and failures. Very good presentation and inspiring. Take what's for u and leave the rest.
@@qrobinson5056 I don't consider my comment negative. Also, success may be tricky. Behind a will to success may be a big ego that wants satisfaction, behind a will to be famous, an attempt to cure insecurity through a positive reinforcement that's volatile and never wide enough. I'm just saying, traditional success isn't a no brainer at all, ask yourself why you're doing it. I think truly better answers are: "I wanna help people" or "I'm just obsessed with my craft"
He told her to do her best and work hard. It’s just so happened that this is what her best got her.
…Sorry that’s what you took from it because she said so much more.
The why is so important! If your why is not rooted in the right place, you will never be fulfilled.
Exactly! It was a simple formula.